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Permlink Replies: 28 - Last Post: Jul 11, 2012 1:12 PM Last Post By: Smiley1965
Marjorie2

Posts: 4
Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 19, 2010 7:23 PM
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I'm wondering why there is no provisions for gay/lesbian searches. I am an active member in my church and try to live according to God's will each day of my life. Many gays/lesbians do not attend church services because of discriminatory behavior by congregrants. I would love to meet someone to whom a spiritual life is important and who is also a lesbian.
Sweetmusicman


Posts: 1,191
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 20, 2010 4:36 AM   in response to: Marjorie2 in response to: Marjorie2
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I guess there is a fine line between being discriminative and wanting to do God's will. People, especially Christians interpreting the Word of God differently hence they act the way they do. Whether that is right or wrong is between God and the individual. I believe you do understand that a person have the right to their opinion or believes.

I think the reason why there is no provision made for gay/lesbian searches is because LOL does not approve of this lifestyle. This is a free service and thus it deserves our respect by honoring the rules laid out for us by LOL. Think of it like this- every house has it rules and guests have to respect that.

P.S. I am pretty sure there are other Christian sites who does make provision for that.
Marjorie2

Posts: 4
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 20, 2010 6:50 PM   in response to: Sweetmusicman in response to: Sweetmusicman
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Can you direct me to where it says that LOL does not approve of homosexual relationships? With more and more religious communities coming to grips with the idea that gays/lesbians are not 'unnatural' but rather have been created by God with all his/her quirks, foibles, etc. The Bible tells me that if I take Jesus as my savior and ask for his salvation then I will receive it. No place does Jesus say that homosexuals are exempt. I'm not arguing; many people will not change their thinking for whatever reason. I don't think of myself as 'unnatural' or outside of God's love, and I would like to meet someone with whom I could share my life, love and friendship. We 'queers' get lonely too. :)
Sweetmusicman


Posts: 1,191
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 21, 2010 1:50 AM   in response to: Marjorie2 in response to: Marjorie2
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Can you direct me to where it says that LOL does not approve of homosexual relationships?

You have automatically assumed that LOL does not approve of homosexual relationships. Based on that I gave an automatically response as to the possible reason. Well we both might be wrong on this. Maybe it never crossed their mind that there would gay/lesbians on this site.... Just guessing here.

With more and more religious communities coming to grips with the idea that gays/lesbians are not 'unnatural' but rather have been created by God with all >his/her quirks, foibles, etc. The Bible tells me that if I take Jesus as my savior and ask for his salvation then I will receive it. No place does Jesus say that >homosexuals are exempt

I am not going to debate with you whether gay/lesbian is acceptable in God's eyes or not.
Marjorie2

Posts: 4
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 22, 2010 7:57 AM   in response to: Sweetmusicman in response to: Sweetmusicman
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You had said in your first response that LOL does not approve of 'this' (my quote) lifestyle. That is why I asked for confirmation. And, I'm not going to contribute further to any type of debate. I am so sick and tired of being on the fringe, of having to keep my 'secret', of having to explain who I am that it has become a burden to me. I am 69 years old, living in a small town and was hoping I'd find, someplace, somewhere, someone with whom I could share companionship and friendship without 'hiding'. Amen to that. I'm done.
Smiley1965


Posts: 8,230
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 22, 2010 9:42 AM   in response to: Marjorie2 in response to: Marjorie2
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Hmm Marjorie, below I believe I said "Welcome to the boards!" If you're looking for cyber friendship and companionship here on this board, you've got it. I'm not sure how much more welcoming I could be.

As far as looking for physical companionship that accomodates your lifestyle, perhaps you'd have better luck searching at a site geared towards that. This particular Singles Seeking site is not; it's for searching for heterosexual relationships. If you want a taco, go to Taco Bell. If you want a Big Mac, go to McDonalds. If you want services geared towards retirees, join AARP. LOL is not discriminating against you; it's serving a certain population that you choose to not be a part of. It's their board and they can run how they see fit. There are plenty of other places that will accomodate your needs. Society in this day and age does not force you to hide your orientation, but that doesn't mean that everyone on the planet agrees with it and will feel that they need to put aside their beliefs to accomodate it.

No one on this board will be less than welcoming as far as a cyber friendship on this board or in chat, so please feel free to jump into the conversations.
Sweetmusicman


Posts: 1,191
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jan 10, 2011 7:41 AM   in response to: Marjorie2 in response to: Marjorie2
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You had said in your first response that LOL does not approve of 'this' (my quote) lifestyle. That is why I asked for confirmation.

True. My apologies.
fondygal

Posts: 6
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jan 8, 2011 6:05 PM   in response to: Marjorie2 in response to: Marjorie2
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Read your Bible then, having sexually relations with the same sex is MORALLY WRONG,, that is why God sent the flood, it is NOT acceptable behavior in God's eyes, nor is premarital sex(male/female) is NOT acceptable in God's eyes, yes, we are all sinners, but to continue in a life of inappropriate sex life, without true repentance and quitting what you are doing that is wrong is a slap in the face to God. Being ***** is NOT normal behavior, its sick and disgusting, my opinion, raised WELS and have WELS pastors in the family/relation...don't care if l get back lash...maybe you should join another site then. Basically if ya talk the talk, then walk the walk.......
WELSie

Posts: 685
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jan 9, 2011 1:38 PM   in response to: fondygal in response to: fondygal
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Dear fondygal,

As you may have guessed, I am also a member of the WELS. I was also raised in the WELS and have family members who are WELS pastors and teachers. To be completely honest with you, I wish you hadn't posted what you did when you did, and here are my reasons:

  • I have never heard that God sent the flood specifically because of homosexuality. Gen. 6:11-12 speaks of violence and corruption. I do not recall ever having heard a WELS pastor preach that God sent the flood because of homosexuality. I do not think this is commonly preached in WELS churches.

  • A number of people, Sketcher and Harriet in particular, had done a really good job, IMHO, of speaking the truth in love to Marjorie2 before you posted your response. They may not be WELS, but I would not disagree with what they wrote. I think they did a great job of laying this topic to rest, but then you brought it up again. I think it would have been better to leave it alone and let it disappear. Now, I realize that I am bumping the topic up, too, but I felt a need to respond to you, since I didn't find your response very loving. I have to admit that I am horrible at speaking the truth in love myself, but I felt a fellow WELS member should respond to your post, and I don't think there are very many on LOL.

  • Speaking of which, this is not a WELS website. In fact, I have the impression that more atheists than WELS members post here. They have every right to do so. I would have to agree with many who posted about this topic that Marjorie2 might be better served by a different website, but I personally believe that those who welcomed her here responded in a Christian manner, acting out of love for her. Nevertheless, Marjorie2 has as much right to post her opinions here as anyone else, so I honestly don't think it is right to tell her "maybe you should join another site then."

  • Marjorie2 asked for specific Bible verses, which you did not provide. Romans 1:26 - 28 springs to mind. By the way, both this verse and the one quoted by Sketcher (1 Corinthians 6: 9 - 11) point out that homosexuality is not worse than other sins that you and I are also guilty of.

  • Finally, Marjorie2 is apparently new to LOL and has not posted anything on this topic since Dec. 22. I think it is entirely possible that she is not reading anything on LOL anymore anyway, so why respond to her post? It may well be that she was trying to provoke Christians to respond in an angry an inappropriate manner by posting what she did. Maybe when no one did that, she just went away. Maybe Marjorie2 isn't even a woman or a lesbian - who knows?

By the way, for anyone who might be interested, here are some articles that were published in the WELS magazine "Forward in Christ" http://www.wels.net/category/fic-series/leaving-gay-lifestyle

Edited by: WELSie on Jan 9, 2011 7:41 PM
modernreformer

Posts: 2
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jun 14, 2012 8:32 AM   in response to: Marjorie2 in response to: Marjorie2
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Marjorie2 wrote:
Can you direct me to where it says that LOL does not approve of homosexual relationships? With more and more religious communities coming to grips with the idea that gays/lesbians are not 'unnatural' but rather have been created by God with all his/her quirks, foibles, etc. The Bible tells me that if I take Jesus as my savior and ask for his salvation then I will receive it. No place does Jesus say that homosexuals are exempt. I'm not arguing; many people will not change their thinking for whatever reason. I don't think of myself as 'unnatural' or outside of God's love, and I would like to meet someone with whom I could share my life, love and friendship. We 'queers' get lonely too. :)

Romans Chapter 1:
18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 19 For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20 For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, nhave been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world,7 in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. 21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they obecame futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things. 24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to tthe dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. 26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. 28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

I did NOT post this to make anyone angry. I only post this to your thought that being homosexual is a "quirk", when Scripture clearly defines it at something else entirely. Now, I know what you're thinking. What a jerk. He's so judgmental. And I assure you that I am not being this way. By the light of every Scripture surrounding the ones I have highlighted, I AM NO BETTER! If Holy Scripture tells me something is wrong, then it is wrong. It is not my place to redefine "for relevance sake". Yes, those who are homosexual are born with those tendencies. Some are born habitual liars. Every human being is born into sin. I am. You are. We all are. And we are all in the same boat. But, just as if I choose to embrace a lifestyle of anger and malice towards other - just as I choose to live a life of sexual promiscuity, so is choosing to embrace a life of homosexuality wrong, according to Scripture. You may want to redefine and "clarify" what it meant. But it is pretty clear. We all try to defend sin within us by saying "that's just the way I am". And it's true. We are all sinful. But Christ can forgive a multitude of sins. I know it because I believe, as Paul believed of himself, that I am the chiefest of sinners. And it breaks my heart. To want what God wants is difficult. To give up our own desires for what he desires is very hard. But will be so much more rewarding in the end : )

again, not a judgmental man... I just have to defend scripture : ) hopefully this came off as loving and not mean-spirited

Edited by: modernreformer on Jun 14, 2012 8:33 AM

Edited by: modernreformer on Jun 14, 2012 8:50 AM
Jill23


Posts: 29
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 20, 2010 3:40 PM   in response to: Marjorie2 in response to: Marjorie2
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Other than what you have mentioned, Its strange why you can't search for someone of the same sex. People are on this site to search for friends or email buddies (that's what some people are looking for with their profiles). Apparently I'm not allowed to search for friends of the same sex.
Marjorie2

Posts: 4
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 20, 2010 6:52 PM   in response to: Jill23 in response to: Jill23
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Good point, Jill. I am not 'anti-straight' and enjoy friendships with both males and females. I don't think we should be declined the choice of whom we want to correspond with.
Smiley1965


Posts: 8,230
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 21, 2010 7:22 AM   in response to: Jill23 in response to: Jill23
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You can if you're not logged in. I've looked up women before just to see what they looked like (not in the looking for a date sense!)

And welcome to the boards Marjorie. I'm Smiley from MO, a 40 something married mom of two teenage boys.
randy303

Posts: 2
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 23, 2010 10:24 PM   in response to: Marjorie2 in response to: Marjorie2
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If i ever see a same sex search on this site i will never return. it is a sin to be gay. i have sinned and asked for forgiveness but i have never justified my sins.
lonelyfordtruck...

Posts: 228
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 24, 2010 1:52 PM   in response to: randy303 in response to: randy303
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Very well said Randy I agree with you 100% on what you said.
rescure warrior


Posts: 467
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jan 4, 2011 12:21 AM   in response to: randy303 in response to: randy303
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If the Fetus who's rights you are fighting for turns out to be Gay, would you still fight for it's Rights?????????!!!!! Or would you say Kill it like it was some parisite????
SereneMaxine


Posts: 2,190
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 24, 2010 9:18 PM   in response to: Marjorie2 in response to: Marjorie2
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I'm not God and I am in no position to pass judgement, but there are dating sites for gay/lesbian people. Rather than expect a Christian site to condone or condemn your lifestyle, I would think it could be more beneficial to you to check out sites like those.

I am a 59 year old, divorced, heterosexual woman and I have actually met other women on this site that have become very good friends. Nothing more, nothing less. I would not expect to find non-traditional relationships at a Christian site.

You may find developing friendships among the other message boards and on the chat room here, but please don't expect this Christian site to accept your request.

SereneMaxine
merganser

Posts: 461
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 24, 2010 11:57 PM   in response to: SereneMaxine in response to: SereneMaxine
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I appreciate the kind way with which you responded to this matter. Speaking the truth in love, as Paul would say. Usually, Minnesota Nice is the best way to go.
SereneMaxine


Posts: 2,190
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 26, 2010 8:36 PM   in response to: merganser in response to: merganser
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Thanks!
Sketcher

Posts: 32
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 28, 2010 9:08 PM   in response to: Marjorie2 in response to: Marjorie2
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We completely welcome you to the boards and if you were in my town I'd welcome you to our church as well!!!

We are a board and church of sinners! Homosexuality is a sin, but it's only a sin and one that Jesus calls you to repent of and be forgiven of. Here is a beautiful passage that reminds us of the gospel. I certainly fall into at least one of these categories mentioned, but praise be to God I am washed clean in the blood of the Lamb!

¿Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.¿

1 Corintians 6:9-11
merganser

Posts: 461
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Dec 29, 2010 1:15 AM   in response to: Sketcher in response to: Sketcher
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I came across a saying earlier that said something like ... Every saint has a past, and (through Christ) every sinner can have a future. I find myself on the 1 Corinthians 6 list too, but I am amazed still at the promise of being set free.
rescure warrior


Posts: 467
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jan 4, 2011 12:16 AM   in response to: Sketcher in response to: Sketcher
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If you choose to use just theses few verses to define who goes to heaven then we are all doomed to hell. theses are Pauls teachings, not Christ, one should remember that. He did not like women much and was not a fan of marrage. We would all be much better off to focuse on what our Lord and savior taught.
Harriet


Posts: 4,195
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jan 4, 2011 8:42 AM   in response to: rescure warrior in response to: rescure warrior
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The old saw of throwing out the parts of Scripture we don't like as being irrelevant, rather than embracing all as God's Word....and Paul not liking women much?? I don't see that in his depiction of family roles or creation order. Or not being a fan of marriage?? For himself, no, as he could see advantage in being single and doing the type of work he did, not only for himself, but for others. He never forbade marriage, and did recognize it's value and function for others.

If you can find a passage in the Gospels where Jesus specifically points to homosexual activity and declares it to no longer be a sin, I might listen, but he didn't. It was made abundantly clear in Scripture by the time of His birth, activities that are an abomination to God, as well as other sins. Nowhere does He mention that it is now ok to embrace and celebrate any sin, but rather to acknowledge, repent, and be forgiven of any and all sin.

No one knows what Paul's "cross" was that he mentions having to deal with. I have serious doubts that it was a serious physical cross, given his lifestyle. Whatever it was, emotional, physical, or possibly even a sexual orientation, he bore the cross. He lived a celibate life, according to his writings, all the while struggling with his cross. He found fulfillment and purpose, and was often surrounded by people he was emotionally close to. We all have crosses we must bear, some more serious than others. How we choose to bear them is another story.
merganser

Posts: 461
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jan 4, 2011 11:09 PM   in response to: Harriet in response to: Harriet
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Well said, Harriet.

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" and "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" are far from misogynistic statements. In fact, it was a startlingly radical and counter-cultural concept to the Greeks to treat women with dignity. I'll take Paul any time over someone like Plato (who said that women don't have souls).
Grumpy


Posts: 1,177
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jun 14, 2012 1:47 PM   in response to: Harriet in response to: Harriet
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You probably can't imagine the surprise I get every time one of these old posts shows up and I see my departed wife's post. I've been able to take it a little better these days. I have learned to look for the date earlier in the string.
Smiley1965


Posts: 8,230
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jul 11, 2012 1:12 PM   in response to: Grumpy in response to: Grumpy
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It always catches me too Grumpy, so I can't imagine how you must feel......but I enjoy hearing her wisdom here!
pancakemotor

Posts: 131
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jan 9, 2011 8:16 PM   in response to: Marjorie2 in response to: Marjorie2
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Hi Marjorie,

I am not convinced that it's because of discriminatory behavior on the part of the congregants that stands as the reason many Gays do not attend church services and it's because who would even ever know that they are Gay in the first place? They come to church To Worship God, do they tell everyone that they are Gay? NO! I think that with all the Lutheran Churches, regardless of what Synod you belong to, that each congregation would be delighted to have visitors that eventually become members with them and YES, this includes people who are Straight AND Gay, period.
pancakemotor

Posts: 131
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jan 21, 2011 7:03 PM   in response to: pancakemotor in response to: pancakemotor
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Marjorie,

I take it that you're probably a member of the ELCA, let me as you this and even if you aren't, you still might know the answer.

OK, all this stuff with the ELCA now allowing Committed to Each Other Lifelong Same Gender Gay and Lesbian Clergy to Serve, let me ask you this, what kind of guidelines (surely they have them) are they going to place or have they placed within the ELCA to insure that these Same Gender Relationships are first of all lifelong to each other and what will determine exactly IF they are going to stay with each other over a lifetime? I mean has the ELCA specifically stated how long one has to be WITH their same sex partner in order TO QUALIFY for this? Just curious, that's all.

See because very few States even allow for Same Sex Marriage so surely The ELCA has some up with some kind of Guidelines for the States which do not allow for marriage. Are they counting on Civil Unions then?
dakota rose 1


Posts: 261
Re: Gay/lesbian
Posted: Jan 23, 2011 1:49 PM   in response to: Marjorie2 in response to: Marjorie2
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Welcome to the Boards Marjorie..

I only have one problem with your question. It seems that gay/lesbian people are often advertising their sexual orientation. I am a little tired of it always being pushed in my face. I don't care if a person is one way or the other...they are accepted in our church and as pancake said...no one would know one way or the other.

God bless you in your search for a life partner.