I notice that a lot of posts here focus on some of the challenges of being single - but there are blessings as well. So lets list some good aspects to being single.
The one that I appreciate the most is the ability to go and do things on a moments notice. For example, if my parents need something done or an appointment to go to or an opportunity to go to a singles event comes up. I can if I want - just go - I don't have to rearrange the schedules of a spouse or children.
So there's my addition. --- what else is good about being single...
I still have my children and their needs to focus on, but it frees me up far more often for being ready to be God's Hands, when He asks. I'm a far better friend and civic leader without a partner always vying for my time or scrutinizing where I spend my hard earned dollars-because they aren't his-they're HIS!
I think that it is really great that you take the time to consider that not everything that one might consider a problem or something negative, is really that way. We can rest assured in knowing that as Christians God has a plan for our lives. I believe that if we wait on the Lord he will bless us beyond our own imagination. God works things out perfectly for our good. Yes...being single can and often does have benefits. We can also find peace in knowing that God is always on the job and does not overlook our needs.
The only thing I see an advantage to being single is being able to go where and when I want, providing I have the funds to do so. I'd rather share my life with my wife and children, but I have yet to be blessed with them.
I agree with you 100% as I took many of those kind of trips over the years. It was fun to do but could have had more fun if I had someone to share the memories with. Still waiting for the Lord to bless me with a wife and kids as well. The only other advantage to being single other than the pickup and go when ever if you have the funds is to drive impratical vehicles. I had alot of Mustangs in the 90's and been driving F150's since the start of the 2000's and well got that Mustang fever again but currently don't have the funds to buy one. I guese the main reson for the Mustang fever is to reclaim my youth as the big 5 0 is coming up in a little less than 4 year from now.
I always say that your only responsibility when your single is keeping yourself alive. There is a lot of freedom to do whatever you want. If you want to move somewhere new no problem, if you want to change careers you don't need to ask for anyone's permission. If you want to eat pancakes for dinner or only wash dishes once a week, hey you're the only one who has to deal with the smell. Being single can be tough, but there is a lot benefits with it too.
You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. No questions asked. No guilt about doing it either. You don┐t have to make excuses. You don┐t have to call your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife to check in or ask permission to go somewhere.
You can fool around with as many women/men as you want.
You can go out to places that you otherwise couldn┐t go to if you had a girlfriend/boyfriend.
You can have fun and spend time with your friends. A lot of married people don┐t have a lot of time to spend with their friends anymore.
You can really focus on your career, education, fitness, and goals.
You have time for yourself to improve yourself and become a better person.
You are free. You don┐t have anybody holding you down or back.
I recently had a 4000 road trip that I took by myself. I was able to schedule this trip with the help of friends who were willing to put me up (and put up with me) for a day or so. I was able to visit many friends and family members (visits were not "guarded," as I could be myself without "fear" of someone like my ex ridiculing me about things I said or did). It was a beautiful trip!
I consider myself "happily divorced" and have no immediate plans to make a change. The Lord is good to me!
I wouldn't mind having a dog, but they really restrict my ability to come and go as I please. Boarding can be expensive, but I did do that when I was married. I'm allergic to cats, so even tho' they are easier to take care of, I can't have them in my house.
I thought you and Harriet found homes for all but one pet. If my memory is right, he was featured with an Elizabethan collar recently. Poor baby...
I agree Grumpy...I adopted 3 dogs of medium stature when I married, but would have preferred none as now we have to have someone take care of the dogs when we want to go someplace or make sure we feed them before we go out to eat. I would also prefer not to have to vacuum up dog hair.
I have three rules that pertain to the dogs: They do not get on my furniture...they do not sleep nor climb on our bed...and they do not travel with us no matter how long or how short the trip.
I like dogs...just not in the house and on the furniture.
I was content as a single person, but am not an adventurous person so taking a road trip alone was out of the question and I never saw much of the country from an airplane. Travelling with someone to laugh with and share the experience with is much better for me.
Well working odd shifts at jobs can go both ways as you said you don't have to worry about not seeing your significant other. The down side is you can't have a socal life working odd hours and weekends to get a significant other in your life at some poit. I know this for a fact as for the last 20+ years or so I've worked alot of nights weekends and 12 hour shifts can't have much of a socail life and is pretty much one of the main reasons i'm still single and alone.
The biggest blessing of being single is having to answer only to myself. I come and go as I please, eat what I want & when it works with my schedule. If I have a few extra days off work, I can pack up for an extended visit with my grandchildren. Sometimes I wish I had someone to share time with, but mostly I am enjoying this time to get to know myself.
Having been single for 5 1/2 years (!Time flies!), I can commit to activities as I feel able without having to talk it over and consider other impositions on a spouse. On the other hand, someone who really knows you can inform you when you're overextending...and, of course, the other is a good "reason" to say "No!" too!
While I too am looking for that special someone... I know that God has a plan and a purpose for us all. I enjoy my life and wait for no one to live it! I'm as involved in my church as any married person (sometimes moreso because it's only MY time)... I get to do a lot of things my married friends often envy. The only thing I miss is that I have not children. I'm hopin' to find a man who has some so I can at least be a step-mom and hopefully grandma.... But again, "THY will be done."
My second wife thought it great to marry a single guy/parent with two preteen daughters. What she didn't understand is that middle schoolers are a bit nuts. It was a rose with thorns kind of thing. Just a warning that ready made family is not without it's problems.
When my ex remarried, she was the one that was nuts! My kids had to live five years with psycho stepmother. She left him, just a few months after their fifth anniversary, which is how long you have to be married in MO to go after someone's retirement fund. So much for my son's college fund.......which is why I didn't go after all the "stuff" when we divorced.
As a formerly married a total of 15 years, separated 4 years 4 months, and divorced for 9 months Lutheran Christian single mother of one and 50 years old, I will try to do the following: be content whether married, divorced, or single and to remember that I will have joy and painful times because I am a Christian. I know this because it says it in the Bible. To remember that God will provide for my needs everyday and to pray about my problems, for wisdom and guidance in everything, to praise him and to appreciate my blessings. To just be thankful that I have a friend that never lets me down, Jesus. I don't know if I will remarry or not but to remember that God Loves and cares for me.
I can empathize with those that have never been married as they want to experience Love and Marriage. It is lovely if is a healthy Christian marriage but not so much if both partners aren't focused on a living a Christ-centered marriage putting their partner first while serving God. It can be as more lonely than being single. So pray for a healthy relationship and not force anything to happen. Fellowship with other Christian friends is great and if you find a healthy, loving relationship in the process it is a double blessing. Just know either way you are blessed if you seek God's will.
I'm a 40 something married mom of two teens in MO.
I got divorced 10 years ago and tried to have the same attitude as you during my single years. I commend your spirit! That is how we are supposed to live; sometimes it's harder than others, but when I would get down I would read A LOT of Psalms and remind myself how great God is and is there through all circumstances.